Friday, December 22, 2006
Have you been following this news from Washington? It seems a radio personality and a famous judge from Dakota are taking on a newly-elected Flordia congressman for his choice to be sworn in on the Book of Daniel. Man, a show gets cancelled after two episodes and it STILL continues to cause an uproar from BEYOND THE GRAVE! Call those rascally, ghost-hunting kids from the X-Files quick - I wanna report a haunting!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Danny DeVito that guy has looked like crap since like forever
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Have you heard about the latest STAR with a BABY on the way??? Could this be WEDDING BELLS??!!!
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Is it possible to see a famous person riding a bus? I'm not sure... but I THINK maybe I saw ROBERT DOWNEY JR>?
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Have you noticed these SEX IN THE CITY reruns cut out almost all the major scenes with Samantha? I do not pretend to uderstand the complexities of syndication, but I'm wondering if maybe Kim Cattrell dimanded more money, and this is the studio's way of saying, "nuh-uh, girl!"
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Have you heard about the latest STAR with a BABY on the way??? Could this be WEDDING BELLS??!!!
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Is it possible to see a famous person riding a bus? I'm not sure... but I THINK maybe I saw ROBERT DOWNEY JR>?
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Have you noticed these SEX IN THE CITY reruns cut out almost all the major scenes with Samantha? I do not pretend to uderstand the complexities of syndication, but I'm wondering if maybe Kim Cattrell dimanded more money, and this is the studio's way of saying, "nuh-uh, girl!"
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I saw Jamie Foxx talking to some guys in an alley! What a sighting! I decided to push my luck and try to talk to him - really get the inside scoop on his methods for getting into his Miami Vice character. I couldn't get a word out, though. As I approached him, I was punched in the face by... ANOTHER JAMIE FOXX! I don't even understand how that is possible! I've thrown up several times since then. This Reporter knows what that means: Another trip to the Emergency Room!
Monday, December 11, 2006
HUGH JACKMAN does not eat egg yolks
They make his garbage smell awful. I eventually gave up digging through the mess, hoping to gain knowledge of what sort of materials the SOLARIS star likes to read. Only after putting the lid back on the reeking can did I notice the neat stack of newspapers and Smithsonian magazines in the recycle bin. Did you know he reads both the NY Times and the Wall Street Journal? He is a complicated man. Who knows what else I'll find out in the interim between him moving into his new house and the installation of the security system.
They make his garbage smell awful. I eventually gave up digging through the mess, hoping to gain knowledge of what sort of materials the SOLARIS star likes to read. Only after putting the lid back on the reeking can did I notice the neat stack of newspapers and Smithsonian magazines in the recycle bin. Did you know he reads both the NY Times and the Wall Street Journal? He is a complicated man. Who knows what else I'll find out in the interim between him moving into his new house and the installation of the security system.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Brittney, Lindsey Lohan, AND Paris Hilton!
That would be the best episode of The View EVER!
Paris, "We're going to talk about some clothes that you can buy this season, and then about something serious we all saw on TV. But first, we thought it would be funny to get Brittney SHIT DRUNK!"
Britt: "BAARRRRFFFF!"
Lohan: "Oh god that's so embarassing! Hee hee! Hey I wanna talk about my new Disney talking dog movie. It isn't as dumb as it sounds!"
All three then take off their shirts.
That would be the best episode of The View EVER!
Paris, "We're going to talk about some clothes that you can buy this season, and then about something serious we all saw on TV. But first, we thought it would be funny to get Brittney SHIT DRUNK!"
Britt: "BAARRRRFFFF!"
Lohan: "Oh god that's so embarassing! Hee hee! Hey I wanna talk about my new Disney talking dog movie. It isn't as dumb as it sounds!"
All three then take off their shirts.
Monday, December 04, 2006
MEL GIBSON's new movie about THE NATIVITY is pretty tame...
Just a bunch of people with beards and sandals talking, glaring, and crying. At least that's what the first half is about. I could tell you about the second half if only cineplex ushers would learn to mind their own business!
Just a bunch of people with beards and sandals talking, glaring, and crying. At least that's what the first half is about. I could tell you about the second half if only cineplex ushers would learn to mind their own business!
Friday, December 01, 2006
This Did Not Go As Planned!
THIS REPORTER'S star may be rising due to a recent brush with THE LAW - though not as high as I had hoped.
Yesterday, I was pulled over for a minor traffic violation. Now, I'm no fool, I know in LA there is no publicity like the stuff you get for a TV-worthy arrest and some racially or religiously offensive slurs. Now, I'm no hardened criminal, and I don't have any prior experience being arrested. It was an unfortunate mistake in hindsight to be fixing my hair in the rearview in order to prevent a Nick Nolte Moment when instead I shoudl have been carefully planning my tirade. When asking for my registration, I could tell the cop was already suspicious of me, and when I opened my mouth, I only got as far as screaming that the Italians invented AIDS when I got tazered pretty bad.
As of this morning, there's still no mugshot up on The Smoking Gun. I managed to score a copy of my pics, so maybe if I can get to the public library this afternoon I'll scan them.
I'll bet that cop didn't even have a dashboard cam.
THIS REPORTER'S star may be rising due to a recent brush with THE LAW - though not as high as I had hoped.
Yesterday, I was pulled over for a minor traffic violation. Now, I'm no fool, I know in LA there is no publicity like the stuff you get for a TV-worthy arrest and some racially or religiously offensive slurs. Now, I'm no hardened criminal, and I don't have any prior experience being arrested. It was an unfortunate mistake in hindsight to be fixing my hair in the rearview in order to prevent a Nick Nolte Moment when instead I shoudl have been carefully planning my tirade. When asking for my registration, I could tell the cop was already suspicious of me, and when I opened my mouth, I only got as far as screaming that the Italians invented AIDS when I got tazered pretty bad.
As of this morning, there's still no mugshot up on The Smoking Gun. I managed to score a copy of my pics, so maybe if I can get to the public library this afternoon I'll scan them.
I'll bet that cop didn't even have a dashboard cam.
